Amber at The Scotch Whisky Experience

I tend not to write down a great deal when visiting places I intend to put on this blog. Maybe one or two notes punched into my phone. Usually I just take a few photos and hope that all the details will come rushing back later like some Proustian epiphany. Unfortunately this tends to be a cocky over-estimation of my capacity for recollection. It gets worse the longer I wait to get motivated and actually put fingertip to keyboard. Drinking with the meal just compounds the issue by an order of magnitude.

With that in mind: it has been at least 5 months since my buddy Tom and I were in Scotland; I wrote down absolutely nothing; this post is about a restaurant attached to a whisky museum where we were treated to five different single malts; we went to the bar and had at least that many more again after the meal (with which there was beer).

Happily the whisky made us fairly trigger happy with the cameras and we took several photos. I really can't remember very much at all so hopefully the pictures will make up for the words I would otherwise just be making up entirely.

I do remember this: the food at Amber is genuinely impressive and undoubtedly the best we had in Edinburgh's Old Town. I tried Haggis, 'Neeps & Tatties from four or five different places on our visit and this was the clear favourite. Haggis gets a bum rap by the way; the stuff is legitimately delicious. Too many people get grossed out by its reputation before they actually try it. If you're in Edinburgh and want to give it a go, you could do far worse than Amber's. There is a photo here of some kind of terrine that I seem to remember containing venison and a little blob of rosemary infused jelly that was original and quite delicious. 

On to the photos. The final is one Tom took of me in Makars' Court shortly after which I feel is a fairly appropriate expression of how I felt about the whole dining and drinking experience at Amber.

Amber Restaurant at The Scotch Whisky Experience

345 Castle Hill, The Royal Mile
Edinburgh, Scotland

0131 477 8477
www.amber-restaurant.co.uk

Hangover Pizza

I found this while going through an old SD card.
Baked Beans, Bacon, Eggs, Cheese and Mushrooms. Everything you want the morning after in easy to manage pizza form.

Dano's Christmas Ham

Courtesy of Dan Hogan.
I'm sitting here trying to think of words to do justice to how good this was and I can't.
I feel sorry for you if you weren't there.

Beastie Burgers

Despite the ubiquity of Hamburgers, a really good one is hard to find. One might be inclined to think that as a traditional symbol of the kind of humble, working class America that Bruce Springsteen sings about, the closer to average  a Hamburger is the better. More pure, more legitimate, more honest. Well, that's nice and romantic but you can stick it right up your New Jersey turnpike. The Hamburger can be so much more than that.

Unfortunately, forming the basis of just about every multinational fast-food corporation's menu has sullied the fair Hamburger's reputation just about beyond repair. Low standards have led to low expectations of what can actually be a really quality meal.

I don't mean it needs to be some lofty abomination of Kobe beef, foie gras and black truffles, generously served with a triple helping of grasping, pretentious wank. But nor need it be a flavourless patty of bacteria, sloppily sandwiched between two pieces of sugary cardboard and washed down with four litres of Chlorine Cola.

When it falls somewhere in between (OK - I guess that is literally average after all), that's where I'm eating. There are a few choices for burgers in Southbank, but Beastie Burgers are easily the best. They're licensed, their servings are large, their menu is creative and the burgers are great.

There are about 15 different burgers to choose from, with about a third of that being classic ground beef burgers and the rest everything from tandoori chicken to Barramundi.  I opted for 'The American in Noosa': ground beef with bacon, avocado, cheddar and tomato relish for about $12. Yeah, that sounds like a lot for a burger, but remember what I said about low standards leading to low expectations? If this was some sloppy roadhouse contraption it would be a lot. It's not. It's well made of quality ingredients and it's quite big. It's a bargain for that price. It'll fill you up. I couldn't finish. I really wanted more of that in my mouth but the stomach said no.

I made the mistake of ploughing through a serve of chips before I even started on the main event, leaving no more room for delicious burger. A rookie error for sure, but let me tell you something about these chips: THEY'RE AMAZING. Nobody does chips like this. They're the thick, rustic, hand cut, skin-on variety, served with some seriously good aioli and... soaked in balsamic vinegar. Vinegar on chips is a brilliant choice and nothing new, but I've never been anywhere that it's the default. You don't get some vinegar to put on as an option; they come like that from the kitchen. I couldn't get enough of them. We didn't try the onion rings but if they're anywhere near as good as those chips you've got nothing to worry about.

There are also salads to cater to the carnivorously-challenged and a decent selection of beers and wine, though you'll be paying Southbank prices for those. I opted for a Lindt Chocolate Milkshake for six bucks and unfortunately that is too much to pay for what you get. Perhaps I'd been spoiled the week before but if you want a Milkshake worth that price , go to Pearl. But honestly, that's my only gripe with the place. I'll be going back to try just about everything else on the menu .

Beastie Burgers
Shop 60d, Little Stanley St.
South Bank, QLD
07 3844 4070

French Onion Soup

This took WAY longer to make than I remembered. Leftover Corned Beef from the previous night's Reubens made an excellent substitute for Lardons. I burnt my mouth a little and I don't care (tant pis!).

Rye Bread with Caraway

A regular staple at the Float Camp last year.
This particular loaf became some very delicious Reuben Sandwiches.

Milkshakes at Pearl

"You don't put bourbon in it or anything?"
- Vincent Vega, Pulp Fiction

Ever wonder just exactly how Mia Wallace's Five-Dollar-Shake tasted?

I may have the answer.

First, let me say that this is by no means a comprehensive review of Pearl and, as good as their milkshakes may be, they certainly do a lot more than that. On this occasion however, it was the milkshakes that brought all the boys (and girl) to the yard.

After a hard day of being a gangster in LA moving house in Brisbane, circa Summer, one (actually, three of us) feels the need for cooling refreshment and rejuvenation. Nothing says Summer like a milkshake and we heard Pearl does the best this side of Inglewood.

Oozing incandescent wood-grain Parisian bistro trendiness, Pearl is not a place that screams 'Milkshake'. In fact, in a place like this, a milkshake might seem a sort of obligatorily compromising menu after-thought. Looks can be deceiving though and the frothy, dairy goodness has its own subsection on page one.

The milkshake is a simple concoction and pleasingly, Pearl keeps it that way. The varieties are classic favourites with a little gourmet touch, nothing outrageous or avant garde that would risk making the whole thing into a farce. The five choices are Strawberry Jam, Chocolate Ganache, Fresh Espresso, Homemade Butterscotch and Vanilla Bean, of which we opted for the latter three.

Screaming old-fashioned integrity in their colossal stainless steel cups and blue-striped paper straws, the shakes come to you straight from the mixer. The flavour is the first thing you notice and the little gourmet touch is evident. This is not the standard cheap ice-cream topping fare; the descriptive titles taste legit.
What really got me though was the texture. It seemed to increase in thickness and smoothness the more you drank. The first sip is quite thin and would suggest too high a milk to ice-cream ratio, but the more you drink, the more it seems to thicken. By the time you're at the bottom you almost need a spoon to get at what resembles freezing cold velvety latte foam.
I'm sure there's a reasonable physics based explanation for this but I don't really care. It's a magic milkshake, ok?

Now the caveat. Sorry, there is one. This milkshake is good, yes, and large also. But it's expensive. $7.50 expensive. It's the most expensive milkshake I've ever had. Maybe Pearl's reputation is what drives the price up but it's still kind of hard to justify. It's not the kind of thing you want to go having every day but definitely worth trying at least once./To paraphrase Vincent Vega one last time, "I don't know if it's worth seven and a half dollars, but it's pretty f***ing good."

Pearl Café

28 Logan Rd. 

Woolloongabba, Queensland

07 3392 3300